For Harley Run free, sweet boy ❤️️ Last week Monday afternoon, I took our beloved Harley to the vet. I had no idea that only one day later we'd have to say Goodbye to him.On Wednesday, May 13, the day of his cremation, I wrote a letter to Harley.At first, I wasn’t planning to share it. It felt too raw. Too personal. But at the same time, it felt like [...]

The Paradox of Becoming More Human How trying to be a good person kept me stuck Sometimes the qualities we try hardest to embody are the ones we are unconsciously defending against. For most of my adult life, I tried very hard to become a better person. More loving. More compassionate. More understanding. More patient. Safer. Stronger. Kinder. It turns out that effort was part of the problem. What [...]

What If Trauma Isn’t the Real Reason We Keep Suffering? Looking beyond trauma to understand the hidden mechanism of emotional repression In recent years, conversations about emotional trauma have become part of everyday language. And for many people, that shift has been profoundly validating. But it has also created a quiet paradox. We talk about trauma more than ever before — and yet many people still find themselves stuck [...]

The Emotions We Bury Are Burning the World Why Global Crisis Feels Personal — and What Our Buried Emotions Have to Do With It Every day, millions of people wake up to news that feels both familiar and unbearable: Another massacre. Another war. Another death justified by those in power. Authoritarian leaders rising, truth slipping away, cruelty normalized. And inside, it’s no better. More people feel disconnected than ever. [...]

Why ‘Feeling Calm and Regulated’ Didn’t Set Me Free On IFS, emotional repression, and the calm that masks the emotions buried since childhood This week, a client asked me about the difference between Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Kiloby Inquiries (KI) — particularly Emotional Repression Inquiry. It’s a good question. And an important one. Because on the surface, these approaches can look similar. They aren’t. I’m not an IFS practitioner, [...]

Why You Can’t (and Shouldn’t) Choose Love How emotional repression—not willpower—determines whether love can flow Love Isn’t a Matter of Willpower I was talking with one of my mentees earlier this week about “choosing” love in moments that stretch us—when we’re tired, overstimulated, and already at our edge. Now, while we might be able to practice or cultivate kindness to a certain degree (often by suppressing what we actually [...]

Why Your Child’s Meltdown Triggers a Survival Response How emotional repression quietly shapes your parenting The Moment I Couldn’t Unhear There was a moment when my chest tightened, and something inside me went quiet—when I knew something important had been touched. My oldest son, frustrated during an argument, said, “I get really upset when I tell you I’m hurt and you say I’m wrong.” He was nine at the [...]

The Hidden Cause of Holiday Overwhelm Why It Isn’t What You Think As we move into the holiday season, overwhelm rises everywhere — too many commitments, complex family dynamics, financial strain, and the pressure to create a “perfect” Christmas. It all feels so obviously caused by life. But here’s something years of Emotional Repression Inquiry (the work I do with clients to dissolve repressed emotions) has shown me again [...]

When Will You Reclaim the Radio Channel Your Body Silenced to Survive?“We chain ourselves to free ourselves.” — The Wanderer This week’s blog is shorter, more intimate — and a little love note to a group whose folky, dreamy music has been speaking directly to my heart. A Rare Evening Last week, John and I went to a concert. That may sound ordinary to some, but for us, it isn’t. Life with [...]

Stop Expecting Your Loved Ones to Be the Parent You Never Had The Hidden Agenda Behind Wanting Time Alone We think we’re setting a boundary.We think we’re being reasonable.We think we’re communicating our needs. And in today’s era of self-care and healthy boundaries, wanting space can even feel empowered. Mature. Emotionally intelligent. But underneath your conscious reason often lies a shadow agenda. Yes, you may genuinely enjoy solitude — but [...]