Accessing Buried Emotions Takes More Than Courage and Willingness

People regularly ask me whether Kiloby Inquiries are comparable to other modalities I have trained in.

I wanted to share a sliver of my story here as my views on this question are informed by my direct experience, and it’s only from that place that I can share authentically.

More than 10 years ago, a perfect storm, including a health crisis, became the catalyst for my quest for healing. Admittedly (hindsight is 20/20), I had no idea at the time what this healing entailed, and neither had I any idea how much, at an unconscious level, I was creating the very suffering I so wanted to get rid of.

I remember wanting to feel anything other than pain or The Great Numbness. Despite having a smile on my face most of the time, it was a frozen smile, wrapped up in my identity, wanting to be seen as kind, reliable and strong.


I am grateful for everything I learned on my path that brought a depth of joy, peace and aliveness, and I also feel clear about the fact that

any therapeutic/personal development program teaching that to heal, you need to feel

can only get to the root of suffering if it includes emotional repression and skillful ways to bring it into consciousness.

You can’t simply feel feelings you buried, often a long time ago.

You need tools, skills and support.


The courage and willingness to feel discomfort helps many people on their journey to become more authentic. It helped me tremendously in learning to stretch my capacity to feel, coming out of a complete shutdown.

However, I also learned the hard way that I needed more than courage:

1) a different skill set and tools to bring into consciousness the programming that keeps us from accessing the emotions we buried a long time ago and

2) I needed to debunk some clinical concepts that kept me emotionally safe and prevented me from accessing the repression.

In the end, continuing to hang out at the level of deficiency stories and shadows prolongs our suffering, until we learn the tools to dive underneath those identities, make the unconscious programming conscious by aligning mind and body and reverse our repression programs to access, feel and express the emotions we locked away long time ago.

For me, this work ended up being the gift of freedom that keeps giving. My programming continues to kick in to try and keep me safe, but with the tools and support, we can use every piece of suffering to gain more freedom.

This, for me, is natural recovery from suffering.